Trials and Tribulations of the Back Spasm, or How I learned to Accept my Limits

For the last two weeks, I have been dealing with this giant back spasm. Everyone who knows me is tired of hearing about it. So I will sum it up like this, “HOLY FUCK BALLS THAT HURTS! OWWWW! I CANNOT DO ANYTHING! AHHHHH!!!” That is exactly what it has been like. Now, on the surface, a back problem like this may not seem like a huge deal. You don’t move. You relax, and you let it heal. It isn’t broken. My back muscles will stop freaking the fuck out and come back into place. That is all true. And superficially that is great. Yay! High five for healing.

Deep down, this has completely changed how I relate to my body. In the past, I have worked through physical pain and ignored little tweaks here and there. I still completed my work outs. I still maintained my physical discipline. I have consistently pushed myself to meet timing or rep goals. This injury would not let me do any of that. I have not been allowed to do any physical activity for two weeks. And I have had to really work on accepting my limitations, which I am not always stellar at.

Now that I can move again, I have to do it in a new way. I have to be gentle with myself. I have to honor my limitations. I have to stop pushing myself so hard. This is going to be incredibly difficult for me to do, and it is SO important. I never want to be in the back spasm space again, where I ignore my needs. I talk about celebrating yourself, and accepting your limits is a part of that. A piece that I am working on, and I am glad to have you all with me. 

-        -  Lauren, A new celebrator of physical boundaries