This week, we are talking about how wedding planning has
changed me. Yes, wedding planning. I can’t talk about how marriage has changed
anything, because I am not married yet. (A few more weeks!) I don’t know if it
will change anything. It probably will. Wedding planning certainly has!
When I started this process, I really did not think that I
would care about how my wedding venue would look, what my dress says about me,
or what the layout of the evening would be. I figured that you picked a spot,
picked a dress, and people just had fun. Like magic! Um, no. No, that is not
how it works when you invite 170 of your closest friends and relatives to a
formal event (if that is the direction you choose to go in). There is a lot of
Googling, Pinterest pinning, wedding day envisioning, and neural pathway
creating. People want to know how to make your wedding day dreams come true, so
then you have to know what you want! Holy crap balls! I had no idea how
hard/fun/exasperating/hilarious/creative planning a wedding could be. I was naïve
people! We talked about this in my bachelorette party post.
So the question is how has this process changed me?
- I have realized that it is okay to have a special day that commemorates my adult choice/us as a couple/sappy love stuff. Getting married is a big deal if you want it to be, and I learned that I wanted mine to be. Then I had to get right with everything that comes along with that, like having the spotlight on me, writing some large checks, and publicly declaring (typically for me) private squishy love feelings.
- I have been more honest and open with my struggles. When I feel a lot of pressure on me, I need others’ support. This whole wedding thing has had a ton of that. My friends and family have answered my panicked conversations with kindness, honesty, and a willing ear. It has been really great! I don’t know why I didn’t open up more often before all of this! (Scared. Duh.)
- I have more respect for the wedding planning process. There is a special kind of stress that comes along with putting together a large event that you care about. I have planned meetings, retreats, and conferences. None of them led to as many tears of frustration (and some tears of joy) as this has.
- I am in a stronger relationship. Any time you are in a prolonged emotional process, it will test your relationship. I have found that my future husband and I continue to be solid communicators who listen to one another, even when we are arguing about something that we both feel really passionately about. We have both compromised more throughout this process than at any other time, including when we moved in together. Hell, we have been planning our wedding for fourteen months, and we still genuinely like each other. If that isn’t a testament to a strong relationship, I don’t know what is.
- I have defined my preferred aesthetics. If you had asked me what my style is fourteen months ago, I would have said casual with a few scarves and blazers thrown in for good measure. That does not fly in the wedding planning world. So here is what it is (for now): A contemporary museum with a twist of Anthropologie and a fuzzy bunny thrown in for good measure. What does that mean? I like things that are clean, bold and modern with a touch of feminine softness and a quirky, mischievous edge. BOOM!
Every couple is going to choose the wedding (if at all) that
is right for them. Every person will be changed by the process in different
ways. This is how mine has affected me. How did planning yours affect you?
- Lauren, wedding planner novice and almost bride
