I did NOT pee myself on stage!

This weekend, I performed for a friend’s theater show. Each week, he pulls together a set of performers, improvisers, and speakers to share their stories on a certain topic. This week was all about strange habits. There were several talented people who spoke on their need to memorize license plate numbers or to name their body parts. One particular sketch group did a piece on the behaviors that men do, which totally scare the crap out of women, like returning a sledge hammer late at night. I spoke on the first modern piece of fetish clothing, the Mackintosh Raincoat. 

For weeks before the performance, I was plagued with doubt. And right before I headed to the theater, I was a GIANT wreck. Pale, clammy, on the verge of vomiting, questioning my choices in life. I kept thinking about what was riding on this piece. It was my first appearance for Pink Glitter, and I wanted to make you guys proud. I also have not been on stage since summer camp in 2000, and I tend to be kind of shy (sometimes). All of that combined to make for a potential disaster, despite EVERYONE’S attempts to keep me calm. (Thank you for trying!)

But I made it through quite successfully, which you can tell since I am writing this post. I was completely composed and bold while on stage; the audience got super into the performance. And I had a ton of fun answering people’s questions after the show. I am so glad that I did it, despite all of the freak outs and mini breakdowns. 

We are stronger than we believe, and we should push ourselves outside of our comfort zones in order to see what we are made of! 

What have you done that scared you but turned out great?

-          Lauren, Stage conqueror and fear crusher  

Sex and Intimacy during Cancer

  

First, let me say that I have never been diagnosed with cancer, so I can absolutely not say that I know how it feels. I can imagine that it feels a bit like being whacked in the face with a baseball bat several times or being punched in the gut by a sumo wrestler. I also cannot imagine what it is like to receive a diagnosis and then have to tackle relating to myself and other people sexually again.

It seems like we forget about the sexuality piece once someone has been diagnosed. Our society really focuses on helping people navigate the medical arena. We want them to get a diagnosis, to go through treatment, and to feel better. We don’t really talk about the person’s sexuality. We forget that cancer doesn’t take away someone’s humanity. It doesn’t remove their need to connect with another person (or people). They will want to date and have sex and be intimate with others.

I had previously thought about sex and intimacy during the chemotherapy process after participating in a workshop with Jill Palmer, LPC. She spoke about the need to reconnect to your body and redefine who you are after a diagnosis. Ms. Palmer mentioned that the redefining process could have a MAJOR impact on how you relate to yourself and others sexually. She also stated that it doesn’t lessen or remove the need. It just might make it a bit more complicated. AND it would be less complicated if people felt supported in having conversations about sex and dating and intimacy during cancer.

I came across two articles this week that also delve into this topic. You can check them out here and here.

I am glad to see this conversation popping up more and more. It helps normalize people’s experience, and it expands our concept of sex and intimacy. 

- Lauren, gingerly stepping into the topic of sex and cancer