“He who has the tool should do the work.” This is what a
friend was told by her partner after sex. (I will amend it to say whoever
has the tool should do the work. We will not leave out strap-on dildo wielding women.
Not on this blog.) My friend said that she thought this was a brilliant
statement. A revelation if you will. After I stopped laughing at his comment, because
who wouldn’t laugh at that, I had to really think about it. Whoever has the
tool should do the work… I am not so sure about that.
This is the point in the blog post where I must admit that I
have kind of a split personality when it comes to sex. Most of the time I want
to give up the power and the control, because I am so dominant in the rest of
my life. I run statewide programs. I am the head of my own household. I make
things happen for myself. Sex is the time when I can let go. Someone else can
take the power. I can guide my partner, but I am not in the driver’s seat. This is the part of me that appreciates her
partner’s sentiment.
The other part of me wants to wave my finger in his face and
say, “Oh hell no. You don’t get to have all of the fun.” This is the part of me
who likes to take over. Sometimes I want the power and the control. I want to
decide the speed, the angle, the level of intensity. I get to control how the sex goes.
I am struggling with this one y’all. Obviously the issue is
not black and white. And we all have our moments where we want different things
from our sex lives. It’s an interesting statement. I just wonder if beliefs
like that would lead to someone opting out and just taking it. Or lead to
someone just pumping away without taking their partner into consideration, a
lie back and think of England sentiment. It’s kind of hard to celebrate your
sexuality if you don’t get to be involved in the sex. What do you
think?
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Lauren, Obviously perplexed by this one and not totally sure why
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