Emotional Intimacy AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are different types of intimacy, and I am incredibly uncomfortable with one of them: EMOTIONAL INTIMACY. Yes, the kind that most girls are really good at; the kind where you bare your deepest truths to people and hope they accept them. I tend to be a very private person (except for when I am writing on this blog apparently). It takes a lot for me to trust anyone. I will not just bare my soul to someone. I am happy to hear someone talk about what is going on with them. I don’t always want to process what is happening in my life. I don’t always share how I am feeling. I don’t like to be vulnerable. It freaks me out.

And then there are times when life takes away your choices and you must trust someone. You must rely on them to support you in your time of need. You must hope that they will be there for you. You must let go of any emotional walls that you have put up. You must be 100% true to yourself, because you have no choice. And you have to give up the idea that there is any shred of mystery left between you and your partner. Because ALL of that is officially over, and everything just got real. This time, my friends, is when you become violently ill while traveling with your partner (or friend, or anyone else).

That happened to me this week. I was so sick that all I could do was lie on the floor outside of the bathroom and crawl into the bathroom when I needed it. There was no decorum. There was no joking. There was no glossing over anything. It was 100% me. Lying on the floor with matted hair, whimpering about death, making sad faces, trying to fight off whatever it was that was trying to kill me. Just me. And I had to let go of my fears and trust someone else to support me in my time of need. You know what? He did.  

   

So maybe I need to give people more credit. Part of accepting all of you is sharing all parts of you, as it feels safe. I think that it’s time for me to do that more. I will be better for it. 

What makes you want to share with people?

-          Lauren, Learning how to share new things, like herself