Writing under MY OWN Name

You might have noticed a change in my profile name. No, I did not get married (yet); I stopped using my pen name. You see, my boss and our higher-ups thought that the world could not handle a youth empowerment professional who would also write about sexual empowerment. They were afraid that there would be major backlash if anyone found out, especially since our program is state funded. Frankly, I was afraid that I might get fired if my blog was discovered and traced back to me. I would be another sacrificial lamb to the conservative powers that be, who want to deny that young people and sexuality could ever go together. They would believe that I would go around telling every youth that I worked with about the best vibrators to use or the best sexual positions for G spot access. They would never think that I could separate the two. They would also never believe that I could do youth engagement work without fielding a billion questions about sex.

So I wrote under a fake name, and I always felt icky about it. Lauren Bradley got to have honest, fun discussions about sexual health, and I, Lauren Cohen, had to take a back seat. Last December when I did a performance on fetish wear, I felt an enormous amount of (self-induced) pressure to do Lauren Bradley proud. It was my first big event as her, and she needed to shine. I couldn’t completely be myself, someone who is awkward sometimes but who wears that awkwardness well.

All of that changed this week. I left my job to start an internship, one that does not care about my blogging exploits.  Using my real name has been awesome! You wouldn’t think that would make a difference, but it really does! I feel freer to be myself and to have more ownership over my blog. Pink Glitter and Brass Knuckles gets to be 100% Lauren Cohen, every week, all of the time. I am really proud and excited about that. 

Have you ever made a seemingly small change that felt like a larger one? What was it, and how did it change you?

   

-          Lauren COHEN, female sexual empowerment blogger!