After lots of thought and careful consideration, I have
decided that I don’t ever want to have children. The problem is that NO ONE BELIEVES
ME. They say that I am too young to make that decision. (I am 29 by the way.)
They tell me that my ovaries will start kicking my uterus at 33, and there will
be no looking back. Some people say that I need to find the right man. He will
make my fallopian tubes sing, and I will just need to have a baby. Others say
that my life will be unfulfilled and empty without children, like I have
nothing else to offer this world. (Why don’t you just ask me why I bother even
being a female if I am not going to have babies? Because that is what you
really mean.) Some people say that I could just adopt, and they are totally
right. I could adopt and skip the whole childbearing process that way. Yippee!
But not being able to fit into my pants and feeling my labia rip
open are not the only reasons why I do not want to have kids.
The thing is that I just don’t want to be a parent. I am happy for others who choose to procreate, adopt, surrogate
birth, or whatever child-getting process is happening right now. You go forth
and raise those kids! Seriously, I don’t know how you do it. Deep down, I don’t
want to be responsible for another human being until the day I die. It’s too
much for me, and I am woman enough to admit it. And this is after I have gotten
older, found a great boyfriend, and settled into a house. I just don’t have that
need. And if the urge ever does arise, I will politely remind my uterus that it
does not control me; I own it. That’s how this whole thing works. Host =
Decision maker.
So please the next time any female says that she does not
want kids, respect that decision instead of berating her with wicked
comments. It is hard enough to be a female in this society without us cutting
each other down about baby stuff. DAMN!
Has anyone else dealt with this problem? How did you handle
it?
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Lauren, Parent supporter but not parent(er)
I do not regret my decision to not have kids. i look at parents and I feel like this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo
Good for you! How did you handle people questioning you along the way?
DeleteNo offense, Lauren, but I feel this is something that both females and males run into. Sure society excepts if a male doesn't want a kid easier than females. But there are the comment "you'll meet the right person and change your mind". I do believe saying totally no, with this and most situations, is a little closed minded. I don't think one should be expected to have kids to justify your point in life. Neither do I think one should totally rule it out. I was a total no, now I have a kid. I understand its not for everyone but it works for me somehow. When people ask you, just be like I'm not ready and you might never be. If they don't respect that, tell them to fuck off.
ReplyDeleteI don't take offense to that. I think the difference is that no one is trying to regulate your right to procreate while at the same time telling you that your life has no meaning without children. I am just not interested in parenting, and people don't seem to be able to accept that. It's really frustrating.
Delete