Friendships in my life are ever evolving. When I was little,
I could be friends with someone for the simple fact that they wanted to play
with me. As I got older and popularity battle lines were drawn, friendships got
more complicated. College friendships were about who I wanted as my surrogate
family and who I could spend ALL of my time with. Now that I am older, I
realize that friendships are more of a give and take. It’s not just about
companionship that friends can offer me but also what I bring to the table,
especially emotionally.
About 90% of the time, I am a good friend. I listen, stay
engaged, ask people to do something, remember their important life events, and
I support them through hard times. 10% of the time, I am overwhelmingly
self-focused, prematurely share my own unhelpful opinion, mess up my schedule,
forget important days, and I show up to parties/gatherings without an offering.
Fortunately, I have friends who can ignore or call me out on the 10% of crap in
order to get the 90% of awesomeness.
I don’t take that fact lightly or for granted. This whole balance of support, acceptance, and
challenge is important during stressful life events, like when one is planning
a wedding. I am privileged to have friends who ask me about planning, listen as
I groan about something trivial, and offer to help in any way they can. I am also
especially lucky to have friends who don’t listen to me when I tell them that
getting married is not a big deal and that we don’t need to celebrate it. My
friends are wise enough to know that sometimes I don’t know what I am talking
about, and I tend to minimize things that feel overwhelming. I was naïve and
wrong. Getting married is a big freaking deal, and it should be celebrated.
Like forty times. In a row.
I am happy to have each of you in my life to pull me along
and give me a little nudge when I need it. You are all very special, and I
thank you for putting up with my 10% (maybe 20%) of ridiculousness to get to
the 90% (or 80%) of greatness. I just wanted to take a moment to celebrate each
of you!
- Lauren, Auspiciously friended
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