Let's talk about physical space, as in GTFO of mine.

I had a really awkward encounter with a spatial not-so-micro-aggression at a monthly training for therapists a few weeks ago. Before the training began, a bunch of chairs were placed in a circle around the room, and it was packed. I would guess that there were sixty people at the training, and five of them presented as men. In the therapist world, this is pretty typical; lots of women, very few men, and a few gender non-conformist individuals. During the beginning of the meeting, most of us were moving our chairs around to make room for others, taking up less physical space so that everyone could feel included. EXCEPT for one man. In fact, he had “inadvertently” taken up two chairs by spreading his legs really widely; people would not take the chair next to him. He literally had twice the space of everyone else in the room, including the presenter, who was a woman. 

This seems like a minor thing: taking up physical space, but it is really important in our society. It shows who has power, who has the right to take up space. It shows who is valued and who has the right to be seen. Space is also about access, who has the right to be counted when decisions are made. Essentially, space is about privilege and dominance. How much space you feel you deserve to be given and how much space you are afforded directly correlates with how worthy you are deemed by our rich, white, Christian, hetero-normative, male-dominant context. In the case of my monthly training experience, even in a group dominated by women, a man was given twice the space of everyone else, because we carry these norms with us.

I had forgotten how ridiculous this shit could be; how normal this stuff becomes. That is until one more blatant incident comes along to wake me up and remind me that these stupid things happen all of the time! Awhile ago, I decided that I would become more comfortable taking up space as part of my social justice work. It is clearly time to recommit!

What do you do when someone gets spatially aggressive with you?

- Lauren, space taker with a renewed sense of purpose