When Dress Codes and Sex Collide!

After a raucous game of Cards Against Humanity during a party last weekend, a friend mentioned the idea of thinking about sex in the form of dress codes, like casual, business casual, semi-formal, etc. I had never really thought about it before, and I was surprised that it had never come up in conversation. Sex and fashion cross lines constantly in our society. How can we live in a world of fake see-through skirts and never have talked about dress codes and sex before? Seriously! SO we are fixing that today. 

When I first thought about this idea of levels of formality in fashion and in sex, of course I began with the traditional route of relating the dress codes to emotional commitment in sex. (I.e. A one night stand would be at a casual level of attire, hence casual sex.) However, I think that is less interesting and not necessarily a parallel way of thinking about it. It is much more interesting to think about it from a perspective of financial commitment. When you buy a formal gown, you are making a SERIOUS purchase. This is not a simple tee shirt or a pair of flip flops. This is a full-length, beaded chiffon gown. (Think gown for the Oscars.) That requires a higher level of cash flow, much like the deeper financial investments that one might make with a BDSM lifestyle. So here is how this plays out for me: 

Casual Attire – Here is where you would find the lightest financial investment. Perhaps you have purchased an expensive lubricant, but that is the largest purchase you have made. I would consider this the most casual level of investment, and therefore the casual attire of the clothing/sex world.

Business Casual Attire – Maybe you have purchased a vibrator or a paddle. Maybe restraint ropes. That is an added level of financial commitment, so it adds a layer of fashion formality. 

Cocktail Attire – Maybe you have purchased several different types of sex toys, like different kinds of vibrators, paddles, or crops. Maybe you have invested in some light positioning equipment. Those can add up, but they are not quite to the formal, beaded chiffon gown. The financial investment is more like a really nice, knee-length dress. 

Semi-formal Attire – This is when you have upped your game. Perhaps you invested in an under-the-bed restraint system, rubber sheets, or more expensive hand-crafted toys. Again, this is an added layer of financial commitment, so you have increased the level of formality.

Formal Attire – We can think of this as the highest echelon of sexual accoutrement. Here is where you would see the free-standing BDSM apparatuses, the more complicated positioning equipment, and the most expensive toys. No jelly vibrators here! This is the hand-beaded gown of the sex world, and the financial commitment at this level is LARGE.

Sex and fashion in terms of financial investment. That is what I think of when dress codes and sex collide. How do you see those two coming together?

-          Lauren, current sex blogger and brand new fashion blogger!