Sex and Intimacy during Cancer

  

First, let me say that I have never been diagnosed with cancer, so I can absolutely not say that I know how it feels. I can imagine that it feels a bit like being whacked in the face with a baseball bat several times or being punched in the gut by a sumo wrestler. I also cannot imagine what it is like to receive a diagnosis and then have to tackle relating to myself and other people sexually again.

It seems like we forget about the sexuality piece once someone has been diagnosed. Our society really focuses on helping people navigate the medical arena. We want them to get a diagnosis, to go through treatment, and to feel better. We don’t really talk about the person’s sexuality. We forget that cancer doesn’t take away someone’s humanity. It doesn’t remove their need to connect with another person (or people). They will want to date and have sex and be intimate with others.

I had previously thought about sex and intimacy during the chemotherapy process after participating in a workshop with Jill Palmer, LPC. She spoke about the need to reconnect to your body and redefine who you are after a diagnosis. Ms. Palmer mentioned that the redefining process could have a MAJOR impact on how you relate to yourself and others sexually. She also stated that it doesn’t lessen or remove the need. It just might make it a bit more complicated. AND it would be less complicated if people felt supported in having conversations about sex and dating and intimacy during cancer.

I came across two articles this week that also delve into this topic. You can check them out here and here.

I am glad to see this conversation popping up more and more. It helps normalize people’s experience, and it expands our concept of sex and intimacy. 

- Lauren, gingerly stepping into the topic of sex and cancer