Blurred Lines Answer Videos: More Gender Exploitation or Helpful Social Commentary?

This post is actually inspired by a Facebook conversation that my friend started earlier this week. I have seen lots of chatter about Robin Thicke’s latest song, Blurred Lines. People have questioned if it has themes of rape or if it downplays the importance of consent. I am not going to argue that point, because frankly the song is called blurred lines and talks about having sex with drunk/high women who may not have said yes due to their pure ways. (I mean really.) I am honestly more interested in the debate around the video, which is linked below. In the unrated version, you will see women parading around scantily clad and without tops on. At one point, a woman is holding a sheep and another one meows. There is also a scene where you just see a woman’s feet. I am not totally clear as to why any of this is happening. At the very least, the video is uninspired. At the worst, it is exploitative.

Now, Mod Carousel, a boylesque troupe out of Seattle has created an answer video with women singing the exact same song with scantily clad men dancing. The link to their video is below. When I first saw it, I thought, “Fuck yes. Good for you and your gender swapping.” Then I took a few more moments to ponder, and here’s the thing. I don’t know how effective it is to swap one kind of gender exploitation for another. I mean sure superficially I can appreciate some gender commentary wrapped in a nicely produced video. However, why do we have to be exploited at all? It’s a music video for crying out loud! Let’s get clever.

I will say that I think J Mary Burnet and Kaleigh Trace’s video, “Ask First,” is the best response to the Blurred Lines video. It sends a clear message about consent in a fun, sexy way without the exploitation. Plus, there is a line in the song that says, “If you grab me, I will get nasty. I’ll break your fucking knee,” which is hilarious.

  

What do y’all think? Was Blurred Lines problematic for you? Did the answer videos help address the issues or expand them?

-          Lauren, pop music social commentator         

Everyone, meet Betty Dodson, the greatest masturbation activist of our time!

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Ms. Betty Dodson has been a huge catalyst in the sex activist community. Her mission for the past forty years has been to bring about an acceptance and an embrace of masturbation, and by doing so a celebration of our sexual selves and our bodies. (You guys know how I feel about celebrating ourselves, so I am totally onboard!) Ms. Dodson was the first woman to hold her own erotic art show in New York City in 1968, and she has held several since that time, which have featured nude portraits of vulvas, individuals masturbating, groups and couples engaging in sex. She has blazed the trail for sex activists by creating masturbation workshops and educational films. She is a private sex coach for women and couples. Ms. Dodson has written numerous articles and books on masturbation. Her book, Sex for One, is a strong proclamation that masturbation is a basic human right and that it is foundational to sexual empowerment and fulfillment. She consistently states that everyone is responsible for their own orgasm, which is a revelation for many. Ms. Dodson is in her eighties, and she is a fucking powerhouse in this field! 

For more information, check her out here:

• This is her current online home with fellow sex educator Carlin Ross, where they answer questions and post helpful videos and resources.
• Here is a video with Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross answering questions about masturbation. AWESOME! 
• Ms. Dodson’s Wikipedia page lists more specific accomplishments.  
  

     I only hope that one day I can look back on my career and see half as many highlights as she has created!

What part of sexuality makes you want to become an activist?

-  Lauren, inspired sex activist neophyte    

So How do Feminists have Sex Exactly?

As an outspoken, proud, and loud feminist, I have fielded many ridiculous questions about feminism. Are all feminists man-haters? (NO, unless you are a misogynist asshole who wants to control my uterus, then yes.) Are all feminists lesbians? (I happen to not identify as a lesbian, but some feminists are lesbians. Some lesbians are also not feminists. Some feminists are straight and gay men. Some feminists choose not to identify by a specific sexual orientation or gender expression.) No questions make me wonder more than the ones that I have gotten about feminists and sex. These have come up during dates, during random conversations with people, during one night stands, during boring closing shifts at previous jobs, during over-caffeinated conversations in college, during alcohol-fueled debates, and during sophisticated dinner parties. Here are several that have consistently been asked:

• So if you are a feminist, do you always have to be on top?
• Can feminists be submissive in the bedroom?
• What if your partner wants to ejaculate on you, is that okay?
• Do feminists have sex from behind?
• Is it okay for feminists to give blow jobs?
• Do feminists have anal sex?

      Here is my answer to all of these questions in a nutshell: Feminists are people first, so they can have sex in any way that they choose.  It is helpful to discuss rules and roles openly with a partner(s) beforehand, because no one wants to have a paddle busted out on them without any warning. Despite what the media and society and politicians would have us think, our sexual predilections are not always a reflection of our societal beliefs. (See Larry Craig) Some feminists like being tied up and flogged while wearing a full-body leather suit and a ball gag. (Maybe in between writing pro-choice blog posts and calling their senators to vote against Texas Senate Bill 1) And I say more power to them. 

-         -   Lauren, feminist myth buster      

Physical protests = so much better than virtual ones!

Yesterday, I got to physically participate in a protest, and it was fucking awesome. I went to the Texas capital to show my support for Senator Wendy Davis (D- Fort Worth) as she filibustered for over twelve hours in order to fight Senate Bill Five, which would have closed almost every clinic in Texas that performs abortions among other reproductive health work. Sometimes in this digital age, I forget how important it is to actually get involved in a cause. Online petitions are great. Tweets of support are wonderful. Donations are vital. It is totally different to show support (or dissent) in person. You get to feel the atmosphere; you get to show people what you stand for. You get to see the solidarity that you have with others, even if you seem to have nothing else in common. And you get to see who is being a total ass, so you can work to get them out of office during the next election (looking at you Senator Deuell). 

Now, I am under no illusion that Governor Perry and other conservative legislators will suddenly decide that they would like to give up on their campaign to close abortion clinics in Texas. That would require a miracle and a sudden shift in the national political agenda (because they can never just keep their stupidity here). I know that this will be a long battle, especially if there is a second special session. Then there will be subsequent law suits and federal rulings and all sorts of stuff. BUT I am also aware that Texans showed up last night in HUGE numbers to show legislators that they will physically fight for their rights. That makes me proud, and it gives me hope. I am glad that I could be a part of it, and I am in awe of everyone who spent four days at the capital to protect our rights as women and as human beings (like @missjuliesunday).

    

To learn more about what happened, you can click the following links:

A summary of what happened from Reality Check.

Video stream from the evening on  Slate.

Timeline updates from the Austin American Statesman.

- Lauren, physical protester and it feels so good!

Step Away from the Douching Products!

I know that the topic of douching comes up every once in a while, usually after watching commercials during day time television. I bring it up today, because I just read Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins. The center of one storyline is an epic battle between feminist cowgirls, who believe that douching is wrong, and their ranch owner, who also happens to be the multi-millionaire owner of a douching company. Their fighting comes to a head when the cowgirls decide to attack the ranch owner after they have refused to shower for weeks, so he can get a true understanding of how powerful vaginal odor can be. Even though the book is totally fiction, it does bring up a really good point. Douching is bad for our vaginal health!

Yes, one could argue that we need to take back our vaginal scent and celebrate its musky odor. That’s all well and good. Celebrate your funk! Looking beyond that, we must keep in mind that our body is a very precariously balanced ecosystem, including our vaginas. According to Dr. KateClancy with Scientific American, a healthy premenopausal vagina will have a pH level of 3.8-4.5, which is slightly acidic. This is incredibly important to protect our vaginal environment from bacterial vaginosis (which can lead to preterm labor), to keep our mucus membrane intact, and to protect us from other potentially harmful infections. Douching, even with supposedly pH balanced formulas or natural products, disrupts all of that, which according to a meta-analysis done by the National Institute of Health can be incredibly harmful. They go so far as to suggest that douches should come with a warning label so women will be fully aware of how bad douching is for their body.

So, you are welcome to call people douche bags. (I do!) You can even use douche sprays as alternative deodorizers in your home (maybe), BUT please keep them away from your vagina. Instead, revel in the scent of your slightly-acidic-but-perfectly-normal vagina and know that it is doing good work on its own.

-          Lauren, natural vagina avenger!