How do You see Your Vulva?

I have been thinking about how we connect to our vulvas this week. How do women see their vulvas? What images come to mind? Are we still struggling with our acceptance of our own body parts? (I use vulva on purpose, because it includes the external female genital organs, not just the vagina. More mainstream dialogue uses the terms interchangeably.) I am reminded of this struggle every time I see reruns of Sex and The City; there is one particular episode where Charlotte shares that she thinks her vulva is ugly. Obviously, Charlotte is a fictional character, but I think that she speaks for a lot of people. When I was in college, my friends and I used to say that we believed oral sex was more intimate than vaginal sex, because our partner had to be, “Down there, up close and personal,” with our vulvas. I have to think that part of that perspective comes from some vulva shame.

I have worked hard to move past this part of the internalized oppression that comes along with being a female in American society. We are taught that our vulvas should smell like summer rain and should look like perfectly symmetrical, clean, little flowers. It can take years for us to realize that shit is unfair, unrealistic, and dumb. Part of my journey to acceptance came from reading Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues.  In the book, she asks women how they see their vaginas (although I am guessing she meant vulvas). Some women thought of their vulvas like change purses or vacuums. Others thought of a fuzzy, warm place. Everyone had a different perspective on what their vulva is like. What an eye opening experience! I had never thought about how I see my vulva. I don’t exactly remember the first image that came to mind. Right now, I see my vulva as a powerful weapon with laser beams that could take down entire cities, which speaks to the extreme political frustration, potent rebellion, and serious creative power that I have been feeling lately. All of that is centered in my image of my vulva, which I see as a beautiful, important part of myself.

How do you see your vulva? Has that image changed over the years?

 

- Lauren, whose vulva can take down cities with just one blow