Blurred Lines Answer Videos: More Gender Exploitation or Helpful Social Commentary?

This post is actually inspired by a Facebook conversation that my friend started earlier this week. I have seen lots of chatter about Robin Thicke’s latest song, Blurred Lines. People have questioned if it has themes of rape or if it downplays the importance of consent. I am not going to argue that point, because frankly the song is called blurred lines and talks about having sex with drunk/high women who may not have said yes due to their pure ways. (I mean really.) I am honestly more interested in the debate around the video, which is linked below. In the unrated version, you will see women parading around scantily clad and without tops on. At one point, a woman is holding a sheep and another one meows. There is also a scene where you just see a woman’s feet. I am not totally clear as to why any of this is happening. At the very least, the video is uninspired. At the worst, it is exploitative.

Now, Mod Carousel, a boylesque troupe out of Seattle has created an answer video with women singing the exact same song with scantily clad men dancing. The link to their video is below. When I first saw it, I thought, “Fuck yes. Good for you and your gender swapping.” Then I took a few more moments to ponder, and here’s the thing. I don’t know how effective it is to swap one kind of gender exploitation for another. I mean sure superficially I can appreciate some gender commentary wrapped in a nicely produced video. However, why do we have to be exploited at all? It’s a music video for crying out loud! Let’s get clever.

I will say that I think J Mary Burnet and Kaleigh Trace’s video, “Ask First,” is the best response to the Blurred Lines video. It sends a clear message about consent in a fun, sexy way without the exploitation. Plus, there is a line in the song that says, “If you grab me, I will get nasty. I’ll break your fucking knee,” which is hilarious.

  

What do y’all think? Was Blurred Lines problematic for you? Did the answer videos help address the issues or expand them?

-          Lauren, pop music social commentator         

Everyone, meet Betty Dodson, the greatest masturbation activist of our time!

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Ms. Betty Dodson has been a huge catalyst in the sex activist community. Her mission for the past forty years has been to bring about an acceptance and an embrace of masturbation, and by doing so a celebration of our sexual selves and our bodies. (You guys know how I feel about celebrating ourselves, so I am totally onboard!) Ms. Dodson was the first woman to hold her own erotic art show in New York City in 1968, and she has held several since that time, which have featured nude portraits of vulvas, individuals masturbating, groups and couples engaging in sex. She has blazed the trail for sex activists by creating masturbation workshops and educational films. She is a private sex coach for women and couples. Ms. Dodson has written numerous articles and books on masturbation. Her book, Sex for One, is a strong proclamation that masturbation is a basic human right and that it is foundational to sexual empowerment and fulfillment. She consistently states that everyone is responsible for their own orgasm, which is a revelation for many. Ms. Dodson is in her eighties, and she is a fucking powerhouse in this field! 

For more information, check her out here:

• This is her current online home with fellow sex educator Carlin Ross, where they answer questions and post helpful videos and resources.
• Here is a video with Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross answering questions about masturbation. AWESOME! 
• Ms. Dodson’s Wikipedia page lists more specific accomplishments.  
  

     I only hope that one day I can look back on my career and see half as many highlights as she has created!

What part of sexuality makes you want to become an activist?

-  Lauren, inspired sex activist neophyte    

So How do Feminists have Sex Exactly?

As an outspoken, proud, and loud feminist, I have fielded many ridiculous questions about feminism. Are all feminists man-haters? (NO, unless you are a misogynist asshole who wants to control my uterus, then yes.) Are all feminists lesbians? (I happen to not identify as a lesbian, but some feminists are lesbians. Some lesbians are also not feminists. Some feminists are straight and gay men. Some feminists choose not to identify by a specific sexual orientation or gender expression.) No questions make me wonder more than the ones that I have gotten about feminists and sex. These have come up during dates, during random conversations with people, during one night stands, during boring closing shifts at previous jobs, during over-caffeinated conversations in college, during alcohol-fueled debates, and during sophisticated dinner parties. Here are several that have consistently been asked:

• So if you are a feminist, do you always have to be on top?
• Can feminists be submissive in the bedroom?
• What if your partner wants to ejaculate on you, is that okay?
• Do feminists have sex from behind?
• Is it okay for feminists to give blow jobs?
• Do feminists have anal sex?

      Here is my answer to all of these questions in a nutshell: Feminists are people first, so they can have sex in any way that they choose.  It is helpful to discuss rules and roles openly with a partner(s) beforehand, because no one wants to have a paddle busted out on them without any warning. Despite what the media and society and politicians would have us think, our sexual predilections are not always a reflection of our societal beliefs. (See Larry Craig) Some feminists like being tied up and flogged while wearing a full-body leather suit and a ball gag. (Maybe in between writing pro-choice blog posts and calling their senators to vote against Texas Senate Bill 1) And I say more power to them. 

-         -   Lauren, feminist myth buster