I had a really strange and revealing moment this weekend. Do
you ever have those? You are moving along, minding your own business, and
then BAM! You learn something about yourself. I had one while watching Say Yes
to the Dress on the Learning Channel on Sunday. How the hell does that happen?
Well, I am glad that you asked…
So Say Yes to the Dress is this show that follows women
while they try to find wedding dresses. (Stop judging me.) During this episode,
a forty five year old woman was trying to find her dress. She was to be married
for the first time, and she had been saving herself for marriage. I immediately
wrote her off as a fool, and then I had my moment. Holy f balls! She and I
might have something in common.
Let me explain. I chose to be celibate for two years while
living in Austin.
I know. Take a moment. Let it sink in. I wanted to explore my motivations for
having sex, and I wanted to realign my priorities when seeking
a partner. I needed a reboot.
During the first year, I felt like an empowered female.
During the second year, I thought that I would die, and at the same time sex
became really important to me. I didn’t want to have sex with just anyone. I
wanted it to have meaning. Which believe me, normally would make me want to
barf. BUT when you have waited awhile to have sex, weird shit happens to your
brain. Luckily, I met someone wonderful, and I broke my streak. AND that is
exactly what the Say Yes to the Dress woman was doing with her marriage.
She probably waited for religious reasons, and she managed
to wait forty five years. (I have no idea how.) So we don’t have those things
in common. But I do understand her more than I thought I would. Do I believe that
sex has to have meaning ALL of the time? Hell no. Do I understand wanting to
have sex for reasons other than it feels good? Absolutely.
So that was my latest sex-related revelation. Have you had
any that you would like to share?
- Lauren, Now a bit more open-minded empowered female
I recently went 12 YEARS ..without ...you know some of the awful stuff that happened in the middle of that . Then there was that lovely young boy ...( he is 18 years younger than me ...I'll be 50 this year ) it was great , untill the day it wasn't . Now I have , after very careful reflection , decided to be intentionaly non partnered. There are always the toys , but the things that my psyche find attractive are frightening . I suspect that is due to the early history in my case . This is a recent decision , I finally had enough data to see what I needed to see... This may or may not change . Personal responsibility demands that I be very thoughtful about it .
ReplyDeleteI think that everyone needs to be thoughtful. I am glad that you are taking time to figure it out. If that puts a moratorium on partnered sex, that is your choice.
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