So I am torn.

Here is the deal. I just read an article on Jezebel about Jason Segel being asked to lose weight for his role in the Five Year Engagement, which is a romantic comedy featuring Emily Blunt. I will admit that I am really torn about this situation. On one hand, I don’t believe that anyone should be asked to fit into a cookie cutter mold of beauty. Hollywood has taken things too far with their physical requirements for actors and actresses. Someone pointed out that celebrities don’t even look like real people anymore, and there is merit to this statement. Hollywood actors and actresses look like caricatures of regular people. How many of us look like celebrities? I know that I certainly don't. (I like to eat actual food that isn't all steamed. So sue me.)

On the other hand, a part of me is glad he was told to shape up. As leading women are being asked to shrink to ever smaller sizes, actors are rarely told to lose weight, especially when they are connected to romantic comedies. They can roll on-set looking ridiculous and still be praised for their work. This would never happen to a leading lady, especially one starring in a romantic comedy. So fine Jason Segel, Hollywood wants you to drop some pounds. At least you aren’t being told to get lip injections, botox, cellulite treatment, breast implants, liposuction, a nose job, ab sculpting, laser hair removal, skin resurfacing, and hair extensions.

I know that some of you are going to read this and think that I am vengeful. And that might be true. All that I am saying is if actors and actresses are forced to live on a fucked up playing field, I would at least like for it to be even. If that means that men are asked to lose weight for roles, something that women are asked to do every day, then so be it. Would I rather live in a world where every body is considered beautiful? Hell to the yes. And we aren't there yet. So in the meantime, call me when they ask Mr. Segel to get Restylane.

   

What do you guys think? Help me out here. I am having a really hard time mustering up some empathy.

-          Lauren, Admittedly Torn and Possibly Over the Line

Fun Fact

In doing my research for a history of denim fetish paper (more on that later), I came across a very interesting little fact. The first modern fetishized object was a Macintosh raincoat. That's right! A raincoat! There was even a society in London dedicated to the raincoat. The group was internationally known. They had a small journal full of letters praising the raincoat. There were even meetings of society members to honor the raincoat.

Isn't that fascinating? The things that you learn!

- Lauren, Always learning and dropping knowledge

It's a Miracle We Got Here

The other day I was asked about my sexual health education experience in school. I was stumped. I actually had to think for a second, because I have not been asked that question in years. Sure people ask me about female-friendly pornography, how to communicate sexual boundaries, which vibrators I would recommend for certain activities. No one ever asks me about my sex education experience. (Priorities?)

There are two incidents that I think sum up my sexual health education experience. The first was in my fifth grade class when Mrs. Q yelled at me for squinching up my nose when she was teaching us about menstrual cycles. She caught me making a face, and she said, “Sexual health is a serious matter young lady. You will act like an adult in this classroom, or you will be asked to leave. Now straighten up and be mature.” (In my defense, I was ten, and I was not really prepared to confront this imminent reality in front of my peers.)

The second was in tenth grade when I was in health class. I was forced to watch a cartoon video of a couple, who was of course heterosexual and in love and married. They were in their bedroom, and they got naked (maybe?) and hopped under the covers. All of the sudden the bed starts moving up and down without any explanation as to why. Cut to a pair of cats lying on the bed being jostled around by the couple. Mind you, the cats aren’t having sex. They are just there to illustrate the couple’s actions. (Yes, you read that correctly. Cats. CATS.)

So what I am saying is, considering that my foundational sex education experiences are steeped in shame and a lack of information, that it’s kind of a miracle that we are here today. I think that a lot of us had those experiences around sexual health while growing up. It is possible for you to move past those early hiccups, become educated in the world of sexual health, have experiences, learn things about yourself, and to become empowered sexual divas. I am proof of that.

PS What was sex ed like at your school?

- Lauren, Sexual empowerment diva

Fun Fact

Yesterday, I learned that people use the term, "Dancing with myself," to mean masturbating. That seems totally obvious now. I had just never thought about it. Does that ever happen to you guys?

On a side note, it changes the way that I hear the Billy Idol song Dancing with Myself. (See what I mean??? PS How hilarious is that video? And how hilarious is Billy Idol in the video? Is he killing zombies? Ha ha ha. Poor zombies. They get a bad rap!)

Now, go forth and dance with your fine selves!

- Lauren, Forever Learner of New Terms and Fun Facts

A Little Bicycle PSA from your friends at PGBKN

An article in the New York Times last week noted that female bicyclists have reported numbness and less sensation in their genitalia than their counterparts who run. Researchers associate this numbness with the pressure that can be put on the perineum and pelvic floor during bicycling. As a wannabe cyclist and someone who has bicycling lady friends, I feel it is my duty to ring the alarm! So RING! You do not have to give up your bicycles in order to keep your fabulous sex life. (YAY!) There are two things that can be done in order to decrease the potential negative sexual side effects. (And who wants those?)

1. Position handle bars above the bicycle seat, so there is less pressure on the pelvic floor.
2. Use a no nose bicycle seat, so pressure is placed on the sit bones.

Phew! We can all go back to bicycling now with our vulvas intact. Or in my case, fake bicycling, because I am still scared of what will happen if I am put on wheels instead of the dear, sweet, flat, ground. (In case you are curious, fake bicycling looks a lot like walking places.)

You can check out the full article here.

- Lauren, Friend to bicyclist with vulvas and perhaps a bicyclist in her own right someday!

The story of my first step toward greatness (Hee hee)

Okay,

I have to be honest with you all. My first step in owning my sexuality did not come from within. I didn’t masturbate from a young age. I wasn’t in middle school holding a hand mirror to myself. I wasn’t reading Sex for One by Betty Dodson in high school. I was actually pretty disconnected from my body when I was younger, so it was nothing beautiful, or experimental, or empowering, or overtly feminist. My first step came in the form of a vibrator from the first boy I ever had sex with; we will call him Sean. He handed me this tiny, pink vibrator and said, “I think that you need to learn what turns you on and how you want to orgasm. It will make sex better for you.”

That was the first sex toy I ever owned. It was the first thing that helped me connect to my orgasm. It was the first instrument that helped me feel okay about my vulva. It helped me get one step closer to accepting and reveling in my sexuality.

A part of me wishes that I could rewrite that story. I wish that I could say that I started masturbating at the age of seven, and I never stopped. I proudly explored myself, and I never thought twice about it. I just kept getting better and better at it. (That would have been nice. Is that story true for anyone? If so, high five to you all!)

The other part of me will be forever grateful that Sean offered me a key to personal growth and sexual empowerment. It is not the only key, and we did not use it to explore together or use it as a bonding experience to bring us closer as a couple. (Isn’t that what all of the movies tout?) At least I can walk away from the experience and appreciate what it has brought me.

In a way, it got me here. And for that, I will put my party hat on and celebrate.

Yeah!

Lauren