Today, we talk about porn.

Yes, today we are talking about pornographic films in Los Angeles County, specifically a law suit that Vivid Entertainment has brought against the county for a Measure B, which was passed during the last elections. The measure requires that all actors in pornographic films created in Los Angeles County must wear condoms, and companies must apply for permits in order to shoot sex scenes, which will pay for on-set health inspections. According to Huffington Post and ABC News, Vivid Entertainment and two actors are suing the county, because they state that the measure violates their second amendment rights and will place an unnecessary financial burden on their company. They go on to point out that the sex industry already requires regular STD/HIV testing of their actors, so there is no reason for the condom requirement or for health inspections. They have also stated that should Los Angeles County keep the measure, then the entire pornographic film industry would leave.

A few caveats from me. One, I don’t actually completely hate pornography. I think that it can be a really useful tool for people to use in their sex lives. It can also help explore fantasies. I don’t love the impossible standards of stamina and orgasm that most mainstream films put forth. I also don’t love how women are often used in films. And I find some amateur film to be horrifying, but I am not willing to damn an entire industry for that. 

I am a bit confused by the lawsuit, and I know that I shouldn’t be. If your entire industry is built on people’s bodies, then I don’t understand how you could oppose a measure that further protects them. I understand that we all have bottom lines (pun intended) and money to make, so fine. BUT it’s the pornographic film industry. If one company’s leading actor or actress becomes ill, then they lose money. I would think that the industry would want to protect their assets. Also, the public relations coups alone would be worth it. They could change the image of the industry to one of caring for their actors. AND, from a public health perspective, the pornographic film industry should be promoting condom usage. Period.

What do you think about all of this?

-          Lauren, Frustrated about people placing money over health   

You can suck it United Healthcare

Today, I am taking the opportunity to put United Healthcare on blast for being FUCKING assholes. I have been waiting patiently since August of 2012 for my birth control pills to be fully covered under the Affordable Healthcare Act’s Affordable Access to Preventive Medicine provision. This provision requires health insurance companies to fully cover the cost of things, like pap smears, mammograms, and FDA-approved prescription contraception. I went in September to get my fully covered birth control pills, only to discover that they weren’t. I did some research, and according to literature from the National Women’s Law Center and a few other online resources, the provision may not take into effect until the new coverage year, which for me is January. Okay, I could wait until January. Things take time. 

I went to get my birth control pill prescription filled on Sunday. I was cautiously optimistic about what would happen. I was on the new coverage year. I had been a good, healthy girl all year. Not one major medical blunder. AND BAM. My birth control pills are still absolutely NOT free. WTF United Healthcare? 

Well, I certainly did not take this in stride, and I called them. BECAUSE THIS IS BULLSHIT. Apparently, my birth control pills are designer, and they only offer full coverage for generic ones. However, I can write a letter to the United Healthcare appeals department in order to state my case and request that my prescription be covered anyway. I would just like to point out that it would be easier to actually just cover the prescription. But I am clearly dealing with very smart, very cheap assholes who think that I won’t stand up for myself and write the best god damn letter they have ever seen. Well they are wrong. I am writing that letter and posting it EVERYWHERE, and I encourage everyone to do the same. If your birth control pills are not covered, call your health insurance company. If necessary, write them an appeal letter and post it EVERYWHERE. They will NOT win this round. We are worth more than the few dollars it will cost them to cover ALL birth control pills.

So suck it United Healthcare. I am coming for you. You have been warned. 

-          Lauren, health insurance company squasher  

I did NOT pee myself on stage!

This weekend, I performed for a friend’s theater show. Each week, he pulls together a set of performers, improvisers, and speakers to share their stories on a certain topic. This week was all about strange habits. There were several talented people who spoke on their need to memorize license plate numbers or to name their body parts. One particular sketch group did a piece on the behaviors that men do, which totally scare the crap out of women, like returning a sledge hammer late at night. I spoke on the first modern piece of fetish clothing, the Mackintosh Raincoat. 

For weeks before the performance, I was plagued with doubt. And right before I headed to the theater, I was a GIANT wreck. Pale, clammy, on the verge of vomiting, questioning my choices in life. I kept thinking about what was riding on this piece. It was my first appearance for Pink Glitter, and I wanted to make you guys proud. I also have not been on stage since summer camp in 2000, and I tend to be kind of shy (sometimes). All of that combined to make for a potential disaster, despite EVERYONE’S attempts to keep me calm. (Thank you for trying!)

But I made it through quite successfully, which you can tell since I am writing this post. I was completely composed and bold while on stage; the audience got super into the performance. And I had a ton of fun answering people’s questions after the show. I am so glad that I did it, despite all of the freak outs and mini breakdowns. 

We are stronger than we believe, and we should push ourselves outside of our comfort zones in order to see what we are made of! 

What have you done that scared you but turned out great?

-          Lauren, Stage conqueror and fear crusher  

Sex and Intimacy during Cancer

  

First, let me say that I have never been diagnosed with cancer, so I can absolutely not say that I know how it feels. I can imagine that it feels a bit like being whacked in the face with a baseball bat several times or being punched in the gut by a sumo wrestler. I also cannot imagine what it is like to receive a diagnosis and then have to tackle relating to myself and other people sexually again.

It seems like we forget about the sexuality piece once someone has been diagnosed. Our society really focuses on helping people navigate the medical arena. We want them to get a diagnosis, to go through treatment, and to feel better. We don’t really talk about the person’s sexuality. We forget that cancer doesn’t take away someone’s humanity. It doesn’t remove their need to connect with another person (or people). They will want to date and have sex and be intimate with others.

I had previously thought about sex and intimacy during the chemotherapy process after participating in a workshop with Jill Palmer, LPC. She spoke about the need to reconnect to your body and redefine who you are after a diagnosis. Ms. Palmer mentioned that the redefining process could have a MAJOR impact on how you relate to yourself and others sexually. She also stated that it doesn’t lessen or remove the need. It just might make it a bit more complicated. AND it would be less complicated if people felt supported in having conversations about sex and dating and intimacy during cancer.

I came across two articles this week that also delve into this topic. You can check them out here and here.

I am glad to see this conversation popping up more and more. It helps normalize people’s experience, and it expands our concept of sex and intimacy. 

- Lauren, gingerly stepping into the topic of sex and cancer