When Sex and Religion Mix in a Positive Way!

I have never thought of myself as a prude. My limits of what I see as positive sexual behavior are pretty wide, and I am not shocked by much. (You want to pee on a willing participant? Be my guest.) And then I was sent Jewrotica, a website that mixes the Jewish religious/cultural norms with sexual health. I read a few blog posts, and I thought, “Okay, I can get down with this. They are encouraging people to explore their sexuality and to be a responsible partner while using a Jewish framework.” 

It was the erotica section which gave me pause. I read a very short poem centered on using a sacred religious object during a sexual encounter. Reading it made me feel totally uncomfortable and really wrong. You don’t use those for that! Bam! Sexual boundary. Obviously, the limit is mine; it has nothing to do with the writer or the website, which I still appreciate. I have just always compartmentalized religion and sex. I have never brought religious fantasies into the bedroom. My Rabbi has always been a person who reads the Torah, never a sexual conquest. I don’t know what that is like.

I have come across a few people in my life who find sexual freedom in their religion, like the religious foundation for sex makes it more interesting. One person in particular told me, “We are Lutherans. My religion says that we should procreate, so I make sure that my husband and I have a very healthy sex life. We try new things and use it as a way to strengthen our marriage and honor our shared religious beliefs.” They completely embrace their religious culture and bring it into the bedroom. 

So I want to explore this a bit. I recognize that a lot of people can mix religion and sex in a positive way. I want to hear those stories, because it is different from mine. Share what you feel comfortable in the comment section below. 

-          Lauren, Willing to learn more about her boundaries     

It's not just about choice.

The 40^th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision was this week, and I have been thinking a lot about it. For those of you who are unaware, this Supreme Court ruling gave women the right to privacy with regard to accessing abortion procedures (and according to my great Aunt, the right to consent to a hysterectomy without her husband present). Loosely translated, states could no longer limit women's access to abortions during the first and second trimesters.  

I have to be honest with you guys. Lately, I have not been seeing this as a choice or life issue. That is too narrow. It’s not about choice; it is about women’s rights. Yes, superficially it is about her right to choose. If you think a bit deeper, Roe v Wade told women everywhere, “You are the master of your domain.” Women did not have to limit their education, economic status, life dreams, or wellness, because state legislators had a problem with the, “A word.”

This may seem like something trivial to bring up. However, I never want us to lose sight of the fact that women were once considered property, like the livestock that we have been so famously compared to. We were not allowed to vote. We were not allowed to run for office. We were not allowed to leave husbands who beat us. We were not allowed to serve in the armed forces. We were sent down limited career paths, such as maids, teachers, or secretaries. We were not seen as intelligent people who could make decisions for themselves. 

I don’t want women to forget the history, because it makes it easier to step out of the pro-choice/pro-life hamster wheel. It allows us to think bigger and to squash legislation that limits our humanity. It is not about choice. It is about human rights. Because I do not want to live in a country where I am considered too stupid or too worthless to fulfill my destiny, however that looks. I am worth more than that. We all are.

-          Lauren, Pro-women

Today, we talk about porn.

Yes, today we are talking about pornographic films in Los Angeles County, specifically a law suit that Vivid Entertainment has brought against the county for a Measure B, which was passed during the last elections. The measure requires that all actors in pornographic films created in Los Angeles County must wear condoms, and companies must apply for permits in order to shoot sex scenes, which will pay for on-set health inspections. According to Huffington Post and ABC News, Vivid Entertainment and two actors are suing the county, because they state that the measure violates their second amendment rights and will place an unnecessary financial burden on their company. They go on to point out that the sex industry already requires regular STD/HIV testing of their actors, so there is no reason for the condom requirement or for health inspections. They have also stated that should Los Angeles County keep the measure, then the entire pornographic film industry would leave.

A few caveats from me. One, I don’t actually completely hate pornography. I think that it can be a really useful tool for people to use in their sex lives. It can also help explore fantasies. I don’t love the impossible standards of stamina and orgasm that most mainstream films put forth. I also don’t love how women are often used in films. And I find some amateur film to be horrifying, but I am not willing to damn an entire industry for that. 

I am a bit confused by the lawsuit, and I know that I shouldn’t be. If your entire industry is built on people’s bodies, then I don’t understand how you could oppose a measure that further protects them. I understand that we all have bottom lines (pun intended) and money to make, so fine. BUT it’s the pornographic film industry. If one company’s leading actor or actress becomes ill, then they lose money. I would think that the industry would want to protect their assets. Also, the public relations coups alone would be worth it. They could change the image of the industry to one of caring for their actors. AND, from a public health perspective, the pornographic film industry should be promoting condom usage. Period.

What do you think about all of this?

-          Lauren, Frustrated about people placing money over health   

You can suck it United Healthcare

Today, I am taking the opportunity to put United Healthcare on blast for being FUCKING assholes. I have been waiting patiently since August of 2012 for my birth control pills to be fully covered under the Affordable Healthcare Act’s Affordable Access to Preventive Medicine provision. This provision requires health insurance companies to fully cover the cost of things, like pap smears, mammograms, and FDA-approved prescription contraception. I went in September to get my fully covered birth control pills, only to discover that they weren’t. I did some research, and according to literature from the National Women’s Law Center and a few other online resources, the provision may not take into effect until the new coverage year, which for me is January. Okay, I could wait until January. Things take time. 

I went to get my birth control pill prescription filled on Sunday. I was cautiously optimistic about what would happen. I was on the new coverage year. I had been a good, healthy girl all year. Not one major medical blunder. AND BAM. My birth control pills are still absolutely NOT free. WTF United Healthcare? 

Well, I certainly did not take this in stride, and I called them. BECAUSE THIS IS BULLSHIT. Apparently, my birth control pills are designer, and they only offer full coverage for generic ones. However, I can write a letter to the United Healthcare appeals department in order to state my case and request that my prescription be covered anyway. I would just like to point out that it would be easier to actually just cover the prescription. But I am clearly dealing with very smart, very cheap assholes who think that I won’t stand up for myself and write the best god damn letter they have ever seen. Well they are wrong. I am writing that letter and posting it EVERYWHERE, and I encourage everyone to do the same. If your birth control pills are not covered, call your health insurance company. If necessary, write them an appeal letter and post it EVERYWHERE. They will NOT win this round. We are worth more than the few dollars it will cost them to cover ALL birth control pills.

So suck it United Healthcare. I am coming for you. You have been warned. 

-          Lauren, health insurance company squasher